50 Classic Horror Films You SHOULDN'T Watch: DON'T WATCH Dracula

Happy Friday folks! And what a happy Friday it is! Perfect day for a night out on the town. Just remember to wear the crucifix your grandmother gave you and don't be afraid to put a little extra garlic on your pizza just to be safe. You never know what could be lurking in the shadows of even the most ordinary town. Today I'm taking down vampires and believe you me, this is no simple task because the list of popular bloodsucker movies is astronomical at this point and Hollywood loves them more than any other monster movie. Why? Well because unlike a wolfman or a mummy or a zombie, the only thing you have to do to turn John Q. Actor into a vampire is put a set of scary teeth on them and if you want to get REALLY fancy, put a little blood on their shirt! Despite the simplicity of vampires, we all still seem to find them alluring for some reason. Whether it be their cool demeanor or their fancy dress or the fact that they are pretty much the rulers of the night, our love affair with vampires has been a long one especially in film! Pick your poison, there are dozens of well known vampire movies from Interview with the Vampire to Dracula to Fright Night to Twilight, there is some form of vampirism that appeals to everyone they even have their own breakfast cereal for crying out loud! That being the case, I think some of those juggernaut titles are overdue for a steak in the heart so lets put some of these legends to eternal rest and get the ball rolling on some new scares!

Before I get into this I just wanted to let y'all know that my assassination of horror royalty has not gone unnoticed! I had a little visitor show up and literally meet me at the door.

My little visitor

Now whether he wanted to do me harm and drink my precious B-negative blood or he heard I was talking about vampires today and just wanted to hang out is unclear. Only time will tell and sundown is fast approaching...

DRACULA UNTOLD. Since we're in the spirit of new stuff, lets check out something EXTREMELY new! So new in fact that it drops tonight! Dracula Untold stars Luke Evans as the infamous Vlad the Impaler, and tells the lesser known story about how the famous blood drinker came to be. I haven't seen this movie yet but the trailer sure does look exciting. Perhaps too exciting to be a horror film but I've been pleasantly surprised before so let's check this one out together shall we?

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. The Swedish film and it's "eh ok" American adaptation Let Me In that is setting the world on fire and truly putting the bite back into vampires. For too long we've seen vampires as either brooding angsty teens or fanged feral goblin-like creatures. This movie brings everything right back to the classic rules of vampire horror. The crux of the story centers around a boy and his secretive new neighbor and her young daughter. The children's puppy love relationship starts out harmless enough until a string of grisly murders start putting everyone in town on edge and eventually pushes the young boy to confront his new friend about the secrets she is keeping from him. This one will really put the chill in your blood. If you haven't seen it yet, get off your ass!

NEAR DARK. Have you ever wondered what to do if you were bitten by one of these night dwellers and you didn't want to join their twisted blood sucking clan? Well while you may be tempted to hire a couple brothers by the name of Frog, there is always the choice of handling things internally. In the movie Near Dark, a young man from Bumsville, Oklahoma is seduced and bitten by a sexy stranger who turns out to be a vampire. Though he is initially welcomed into the fold of vampires the young succubus runs with, which are like a blood sucking version of The Devil's Rejects played by the cast of Aliens (no lie, Lance Henrickson, Jenette Goldstein and Bill "game over man" Paxton play the vamps here), the young man's love of his family begins to pull at him and his allegance is torn between the two. I really like this movie and while it doesn't have that cool CRY LITTLE SISTER!!!! song that The Lost Boys had, it's worth watching!

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (TV SHOW). I am a huge fan of Robert Rodriguez's original film but have you ever watched the movie and wondered why the tone shifts so violently from crime thriller into a full fledged horror film? Or wondered why Seth Geko plans heists with his clearly psychotic brother if he's is such a professional? Or wondered what ever happened to Jacob's wife? Well this is a show for you! The series, both written and directed by the creator Rodriguez himself, is a massive remake of the film but it delves into every nuanced bit of the original story and fleshes out a lot of things that made you scratch your head in the original film and fixes a lot of the missteps that plague the 90s classic. I could go on and on talking about the threatening presence Zane Holtz brings to Quinton Tarantino's character Ritchie or how D.J. Cotrona mimics George Clooney better than anyone I've ever seen but suffice to say, it's really really very good.

VAMPIRE'S KISS. This movie is about a pretentious publisher who believes he is turning into a vampire. Whether he is or not is not the reason this movie is being heralded by yours truly. The reason is because it stars Nicolas Cage and it's undoubtedly the single most insane performances by an actor or any era in the history of Hollywood. It's so absolutely off the page that talking about it, simply won't do it justice... so just watch this instead. Words of wisdom: YOU ARE NOT READY FOR THIS!