50 Classic Horror Films You SHOULDN'T Watch: DON'T WATCH Blade

Have all these aliens and monsters got you on edge? Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night? Do you wish you could just call somebody to make all these terrible things go away? Well who ya gonna call? The Ghostbusters? Think again, those guys are too wrapped up in the will they won't they of the Hollywood sequel machine to help you out. Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Last I heard she was rollin' down the river Styx. And Blade? I heard they threw Blade in jail not too long ago. So what's the move? Lucky for you I happen to have the phone number for every problem you may have.

 DOG SOLDIERS. Have you got a werewolf problem? Not sure if you can afford all that silver for bullets? Well you're in luck. Sgt. Harry Wells has had dealings with such issues. Dog Soldiers is a story about a squad of soldiers on a war games exercise when they are attacked by a pack of werewolves. The movie is full of plenty of action and gunplay and the wolves themselves are pretty impressive to boot. See it if you have the chance.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER. If you're looking for something absolutely ludicrous for your Halloween party look no further than this movie. It's exactly what it sounds like. Our 16th president uses his trusty axe and some pretty impressive martial arts skills to chop up undead bloodsuckers from the south. That's right. This movie is insinuating that the fight between the north and the south was actually the north vs vampires...I'll just leave that right there. Like I said, ludicrous, but it's still pretty damn entertaining so check it out.

EVOLUTION. This Ivan Reitman directed film has the same fun spirit as Ghostbusters with an extraterrestrial twist. The movie surrounds a group of scientists investigating a strange living primordial goo that hitched a ride to earth on a meteor. Slime doesn't stay dormant long as it finds earth the perfect place to call home and it's evolution begins to take place at an extremely rapid pace leaving the human race to deal with horrible creature of all shapes and sizes. This is actually one of the few movies that consider in the same league as something like a Ghostbusters and for a man who literally built his own proton pack, that's saying a lot!

THE MONSTER SQUAD. If you've got a little bit of everything to deal with and you're just not sure what to do, call the Monster Squad. Sure they're just kids but they have the skills to pay the bills! This was one of my favorite movies growing up and though I had to have been only four years old when i saw it, I enjoyed it so much that it became my very favorite monster movies. It's all about a crew of horror movie lovers who find themselves fighting against mummys vampires, goblins and black lagoon creatures. It's classic and it rocks! It's one of those movies in the 80s that you just couldn't make today, but if you did it would definitely have James Franco and Seth Rogen in it. It's like an adult comedy/horror flick for kids. HIGHLY recommended!