50 Classic Horror Films You SHOULDN'T Watch: EVERYTHING ELSE!

When I started this horror movie thing it was all about fun. I love talking movies, I love watching movies and if you're a reader of this site I know you do too. I could literally talk for days and days about horror movies and by now you all know I can. Unfortunately, the powers that be have thrown roadblock after roadblock in my way to keep me from posting and watching some new favorite flicks. Far be it from me however to deprive you folks of some great movies to watch for the Halloween season. So, let's go into rapid fire mode for the rest of the flicks on my list shall we? I'll be taking them down category by category so I hope you've got your big boy/girl pants on because things are about to get mad real. I'm hitting the purge button and everyone is about to come out to play!

 
BULLIES 
The Classic: We all know CARRIE is the matron saint of the vengeful tormented but really, that movie doesn't hold up as well as you remember it. I ought to know, I just watched it and maaaan was I disappointed. Relax though, there's hope.

The Challengers:
MAY - A horror film about a social outcast and her obsession with being perfect. It's pretty standard through most of the film but the end takes a HAAAAARD left! 
TOXIC AVENGER - Maybe not as big of an underdog as all that but it's a Troma film which means you won't likely see it on TBS. It's all about a kid who gets horribly mutated by toxic waste and takes revenge on the people responsible


PSYCHOS 
The Classics: HALLOWEEN and AMERICAN PSYCHO. Who can go up against Michael Myers and Christian Bale throwing a temper tantrum? GIMMIE AN EFFIN ANSWER!!! Not McG, I can tell ya that but I may know a couple

The Challengers: 
MANIAC - Elijah Wood plays a psycho once again but hey, the man is damn good at it. 
INSIDE - A pregnant woman is stalked and attacked by a creepy woman who wants her unborn child. Not for the faint of heart ladies and gents.
BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON - This is a funny one which takes a documentarian view of the life of a young Jason Voorhees/Michael Myers grade psycho. Follow along as he plans the logistics of a teenage massacre! I fell in love with this one within the first 5 minutes.
SILENT RAGE - Think of it as Michael Myers vs Chuck Norris...I kid you not!


KIDNAPPINGS 
The Classic: Cathy Bates in MISERY is perhaps the scariest of all villains to me because she could actually be real. That hobbling scene is one that I still watch with my hands over my face but if that put a chill in your spine I know another flick that will do a good job of it too.

The Challenger:
THE LOVED ONES - What do you do when the creepy girl in school asks you out to the prom? After seeing this movie, you might just say yes to avoid what could happen next.


ZOMBIES 
The Classics: I don't know about you but I'm getting a little zombied out these days. Between THE WALKIND DEAD and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, SHAUN OF THE DEAD and whatever [insert word here] OF THE DEAD series, I find myself rolling my eyes more than biting my nails. It doesn't have to be that way though...

The Challengers:
WILD ZERO - A punk rock band and their biggest fan vs the undead and their psychotic band manager.
REC - A news crew gets locked in at an apartment complex at the beginning of a zombie outbreak.
FIDO - How would the world readjust after the zombie apocalypse? Why, turn the undead into pets of course!
DEAD SET - The Walking Dead ain't the only zombie show on tv! Across the pond in jolly old England, they have DEAD SET, a mini-series about reality show star wannabes who end up fighting the undead. Scripted reality? Hardly!


HAUNTED HOUSES 
The Classic: POLTERGEIST... what can be said about the greatest haunted house movie of all time?! I'm bored with it that's what. Give that poor girl Carol Ann a rest and let Coach ice down his knees. I've got another film you'll love

The Challenger:
SINISTER - A paranormal investigator and novelist puts his entire family at risk in order to help him write a kickass book! That's white people for ya I guess. Check it out anyway. It's really good.


HAUNTED HOTELS 
The Classics: THE SHINING! Perhaps Jack Nicholson's best work ever and Stephen King's best work as well... I mean the book, not that garbage remake of The Shining with that candy-ass from the TV show Wings. UGH! The whole thing put a bad taste in my mouth! so much so that I think we should check something else out this year.

The Challengers:
1408 - Mopey John Cusack plays a paranormal investigator who debunks haunted places for a living but he bites off more than he can chew when I checks into the infamous Dolphin Hotel. WOW! I was totally surprised by how good this movie was. You NEED to see this one
GRAVE ENCOUNTERS - Basically it's one of those paranormal investigation shows except everything you'd hope happens actually happens! This one is a new find for me but I really enjoyed it.


HORROR MUSICAL
The Classics: There are a lot of great horror movie musicals out there, NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, SWEENEY TODD, THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW... ALL of them are great but lets be honest, you want more. What could I possibly recommend that would slake your blood lust for gore and showtunes?! PLENTY!

The Challengers:
SHOCK TREATMENT - It's a direct sequel to Rocky Horror and it's just as bizarre and out there but unfortunately, it just doesn't have that magnetic energy that good old Tim Curry gave to the show. Don't let that stop you though, some of the songs are kinda catchy
POULTRYGIEST - Now, this is one you are not ready for in the slightest. It's a horror comedy/musical that is so far over the top that it defys explanation so the only thing I can do is tell you a little bit of what's in it. mutant eggs that turn people into blood-thirsty chicken zombies, vicious racist stereotypes, a fat man pooping himself thin and that's just the tip of the iceberg so... you've been warned.


WTF
The Classics: Sometimes you watch a movie that just makes you say, "what the hell am I watching?!" Movies like ERASERHEAD, DONNIE DARKO and JACOB'S LADDER are really good at evoking that emotion but if you're like me and you feel confident in the feeling that you've got a good bead on them, let me throw you a couple curve balls

The Challengers:
INLAND EMPIRE - Have you ever wondered what it was like to be a psychotic method actor? Wonder no longer. Well, until you see this movie that is. Then you can wonder about what the hell it was you just saw!
HOUSE - Say what you will, the Japanese know a thing or two about WTF! In this 1977 diamond in the rough of a mind freak film, seven girls go on a summer trip to a house that tries to eat them... I KNOW RIGHT?!
RUBBER - A story about a rubber truck tire that kills people with it's mind...did I stutter?!
NAKED LUNCH - An exterminator is manipulated by enormous bugs to in a plot to overthrow the government.
GOZU - I um... I-I-I just don't uh...I literally don't know what to um...


BODYSNATCHERS 
 The Classics: INVASION OF THE BODYSNATCHERS starring Spock, Ian Malcolm and Donald Sutherland. It rules but there are a lot of other bodysnatcher movies out there that are just as fun.

The Challengers:
THE FACULTY - Josh Hartnet, Elijah Wood and Clea DuVall vs Usher, T-1000 and Famke Janssen and a bunch of great actors playing ear wiig infested hive mind people. I've seen this one 10 times, it never gets old!
THE WORLD'S END - The bookend to the coronetto trilogy and man is it a fun fun fun movie! The camaraderie, the drinking, the fights! Woo is this a great script and the writing on this is so awesome. you can't beat Edgar Wright behind the camera and this is just one more reason he is my favorite director!
THEY LIVE! - PUT ON THE GLASSES OR START EATING THAT TRASHCAN!!"


THE INFECTED 
The Classics:DEAD ALIVE may be a Peter Jackson original but lets face it, it's just...It's almost too much for me but if you're into over the top violence and weirdness, you'll love what I have for you.

The Challengers:
SLITHER - Nathan Fillian stars in an over the top zombieish movie about big slugs that infect and zombify their hosts.
DEADLY SPAWN - Slug alien penis shaped monsters attack a random family from inside their own house. Wow, this one is terrible but it's also very gross and very unique.
NIGHT OF THE CREEPS - Zombie slugs turn prom night into a night of the undead. Very 1980s and very teen comedyish but with a horror twist.


VHS TAPES
The Classics: Yes VHS tapes can kill. Perhaps the most famous is the one from THE RING after all, that ring girl seems to be in every horror movie these days but that's another story.

The Challengers:
V/H/S - A series of handheld vignettes done in a modern twilight zone style. This is by far the creepiest and best handheld flick I've seen. It'll really raise the hair on the back of your neck. V/H/S VIRAL is new on demand this month too so if you liked V/H/S you might like that one too.
VIDEODROME - James Woods stars in the strangest movie I'd seen in the early 90s. It's all about a guy who watches viral VHS tapes to find weird stuff to report on. Well he does find it when a certain video tape bends his mind and turns him into a revolutionary supernatural maniac? If they made this today it would be centered around youtube but this is just... I still don't get it but it's interesting as all get out!


MAD DOCTORS 
The Classics: SAW of course is the most famous evil doctor movie today but there are a lot of others out there that are waaaaay better!

The Challengers:
AUDITION - A deranged actress/psycho kidnaps a hiring manager after not getting the acting job.
THE SKIN I LIVE IN - I won't tell you about this one. You're just going to have to watch it yourself.
CUBE - A group of people are thrown into an enormous rubix cube puzzle where each room is set up to kill in some way.


KILLER GOO 
The Classics: THE BLOB starring Kevin "Drama" Dillon might be a fun B-Movie but I'll do you one better.

The Challengers:
THE STUFF - Killer Yogurt....yes, killer yogurt


CLOWNS 
The Classics: IT is Stephen King's greatest work in my opinion because he officially made clowns scary but there are some other crazy clowns out there that will put a chill in your boots.

The Challengers:
STITCHES - A clown comes back from the dead to kill the people he holds responsible for his death.
KILLER CLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE - It's maybe not as underground as I'm making out but still it's a great B-movie. It is what it the title suggest but it'll make you look sideways a cotton candy from now on


FRANKENSTEIN 
The Classics: EDWARD SCISSORHANDS and MARY SHELLY'S FRANKENSTEIN might be what you think of first when it comes to reanimated monsters but as far as scientists messing with stuff they shouldn't I got a movie that will put a disgusted scowl on your face

The Challengers:
SPLICE - Two doctors successfully splice together genes from hundreds of different animals in order to make a superhuman hybrid. This movie goes in the exact direction you're afraid of and by the end you'll totally be disgusted and possibly shocked to your core... Shame on you Adrien Body...shame
FRANKENHOOKER - A doctor makes a monster out of parts of murdered hookers but he soon finds that you can take the hoe out off the streets but you can't take the streets out of the hoe. This movie sucks but you'll love being able to tell your friends that you saw it.


SILLY GHOSTS 
The Classics: We all know that there are a lot of ghosts out there that have become bigger than their franchise more from their comedy than their scariness. BEETLEJUICE and NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET are the biggest movies in this category but for real, i mean for real for real, this movie I have will really mess with you and make you scream, "WHAT THE HELL?!"

The Challengers:
FAUST: LOVE OF THE DAMNED - It starts off like the movie Spawn but instead of coming back from the dead as a badass superhero the main character, which by the way switches 20 minutes into the movie, comes back as mixture of Jim Carrey as The Mask with wolverine claws and Freddy Kruger sense of humor. WTF, seriously, WTF!


META 
The Classics: SCREAM used to be the king of deconstructed horror but that was then and this is now. The old king is dead and long live the king!

The Challengers:
CABIN IN THE WOODS - A group of friends takes a trip to the woods for spring break but they get more than they bargained for when they venture into their cabin's creepy basement. Nerd king Joss Whedon directs this BRILLIANT film that does for- wait, I'm saying too much. JUST SEE IT! We are not ourselves.


BIBLICAL 
The Classics: Of course, I couldn't get away without mentioning THE EXORCIST as far as biblical movies. Nor could I get away without mentioning ROSEMARY'S BABY or THE OMEN for that matter but there are some other great devil movies out there.

The Challengers: 

FALLEN - Denzel Washington vs a body hopping demon. No amount of gum and smooth can talk can save the suavest brotha in Hollywood this time.
THIS IS THE END - James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, Danny McBride and Jay Burachell play themselves trying to survive the biblical apocalypse! Duuuuude this is a really funny one!


MIX 
The Classics: You want the most bang for your buck in the theater, look no further than CREEPSHOW or TWILIGHT ZONE in the movie category. They're perhaps the best movies for your Halloween party but for real if you want to thrill your friends with something new, I got your ticket.

The Challengers:
TRICK R TREAT - It's like a Halloween night version of the movie Crash. You really can't beat this movie for your party. It IS THE KING OF HALLOWEEN!